Yes jokes

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.

As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

"Do you want to hear a joke?"

"Yes."

"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

Leo be like: "I like men, yes."

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone not here?

Student: Yes, your parents.

A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"

I said, "Yes, I know I am."

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