What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Gay jokes are not funny, CUM on guys!
