Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Orphans don't like family sized chips, I wonder why.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
