How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
i think im a red zebra!! cuz im stripped red iykwim
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why don’t cheetahs get married? They always cheat on each other
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa. Naked and Afraid.
why did the deer cross the road its freinds deered it to
All my friends live in a forest. its called Aokigahara
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
What do you call a bear with no ear? A b
why does the orphan like nature, he can call someone mother
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why is a elephent big,grey, and hairy?
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
What does a gorilla attorney study? The law of the jungle.
Why did the tiger loose at poker? Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave...
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
imagine you are getting eaten by a alligator what do you do? stop imagining.