Why jokes

Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?

Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.

Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?

He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

Sally's used to being blind!

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?

Brother: Why though?

Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.

Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.