Whoever jokes
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."
A boy throws his bag out the window.
The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"
The boy says, "Me! I'm going home now."
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.
To whoever you are, you are loved.
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
Whoever said white people can't jump obviously hasn't seen the 9/11 footage.
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.