Which One jokes

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?

The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.

Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?

A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The feather, because the rope stopped the child.

A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.

Which one hits the ground first?

The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.

Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?

Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.

Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.

5 minutes later

Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?

Teacher, the one sucking it?

Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.

I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.

Me: "Are you ok sir?"

Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."

Me: "Well, which one are ya?"

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

Man: I must confess, Father.

Priest: What are you here to confess?

Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

Priest: And what happened to your son?

Man: He said a man raped him.

Priest: When and where did this happen?

Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

Priest: ...By whom?

Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

Priest: ...Shit

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!

Which one do you want to watch? 😀"

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?

Me: Yeh, of course.

My Bff: Ok which one?

Me: You know... the black one.

Me: Like my soul...

My Bff: Jeez you ok?