Which One jokes

Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."

The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.

The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.

The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."

I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.

My girlfriend said she's having a horrible time with her period. I ask her which one, but realize she's not talking about school...

We don't see each other very much.

Two pencils walking down the street.

Which one hasn’t got AIDS?

The one with the rubber on.

"Simon says touch your chin."

The fat people be like, "Which one?"

If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.

The kid just hangs there.

The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.

Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?

The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.

My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

So I said, "But which one?"

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

The feather, because the rope stopped the child.

One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."

Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"

My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?

Me: Yeh, of course.

My Bff: Ok which one?

Me: You know... the black one.

Me: Like my soul...

My Bff: Jeez you ok?

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?