Whats jokes
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
What do you call a person with a fat brain?
A fat neek!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
Memes
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What day are twins born the most?
Toos-day.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
"Yol, what do you think about sex?"
"Good."
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning building.
Priest: What about the children, Rabbi?
Rabbi: Fuck the children!
Priest: Do we have time?