This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory, one day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station,I told her so you can weigh yourself on the truck scale.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter."
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale the doctor said I want your weight and not phone number
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself the weigh explodes
My wife is so fat. She gets weighed on the Richter scale.
Your so far when you went on the weighing scale it said to be continued
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh. he never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
why is the world split in half because fat people are weighing the earth dow
A women decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.
’About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.<br> A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs According to the pole💈
yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says hey fat b**** break your fat a** in half so u wont weigh as much
yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said to be continued...
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6 year old in the trunk of my car.
When you step on the weighing scale it shows your phone number!
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Joke 1# ' Knock Knock ' Whos there? ' Pastur ' Pastur who? ' Past ur bedtime '.
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momas so fat when she stepped on the weigh it said, " I asked for your weigh not you phone number. "
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself. Everyone else in the minefield...
because all I do is pound it man I would put you on my 600 life if you didnt weigh a thousand
Q: What kind of building weighs the least? A: A Lighthouse!
