Week jokes

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.

I didn't want to interrupt her.