Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
We Jokes
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?
"We are Pickle Ricks!"
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?
“We should touch base.”
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Teacher: We are going to Seville.
Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!
Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.
Omg thanks for 1000 likes!
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.
All people are invited!
We have a lot! Enjoy!
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
