We jokes

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!

A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

"What did we hit?"

"I don't know, a rock."

We gate.

Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?

Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.

Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?

Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.

"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?

A: Covid.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Yo mama so fat when she walked all we knew was EARTHQUAKE!

Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.

I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.

Why don't we have female magicians?

'Cause the last ones got hanged.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

What did the plane say to the towers: "Can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no, we got to go through it."

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.