Prince can we please chat?
“I really hate cats” my friend replied with" you gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again
Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
me and a girl went on a walk...then she notest me then we went for a run :)
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
No, I don't want to fight, so I shall kill you (so we won't fight)!
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.
I'll let you decide.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
Tell who we are.
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
I shouted "Jenga" in class today.
We were watching clips of 9/11.
My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.
All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
