What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
why can you bully orphans? what are they gonna do tell there parents. oh wait they got no parents
Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.
The weekly family zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little....plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old's shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old's belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.
So the father waited until he'd talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone.
"Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I'm not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don't have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?"
"No, Pop, we haven't seen anyone since we left the city," his son told him earnestly. "And we sure haven't gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!"
If at first you cant succed then wait to be the last!!
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
The last number of your like is the amogus you get.
1: Amogus trollface 2: frogus 3: amogus in 2013 4: chogus 5: classic amogus 6: wait this isnt amogus 7: amogus drip 8: amog sus 9: amog stuff
Neona (😃): Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen (😁): I knew it !! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona (😁): He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen (😏): Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona (🙁): Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen (😕): Wait ... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona (😕): No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen (😯): No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona(🤨,🙁,😠): Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen (😟): No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth Neona!
Neona (😔): Gwen please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr.Smith sexual hassults women!!!
Gwen (🙁): He does your not listing.
Neona (🤬): I don't care BITCH!!!!
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔) : You got the job and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona you just don't got enough confidents, you got to have it confidents in life. I know you will get the job I do now just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞) : UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen your the best!
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan??
The orphan always gets picked..... oh wait i meant an orange always gets picked
suck on a finger once bite it of taste it put some ketchup on it wait im making a mess i bit it off!!!
Dad: Alive Brother:orphan(fault=Mother) Me:dead on the inside but sadly alive Mother:Alive... Wait a minute.. I thought you were dead mom.. right your dead to me atleast.
What do u mean cook we wait till summer
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
My stepdad took me to work and he told me I could climb trees. I woke up in a hospital, wait did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
small word of advice:Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love cuz they may be gone by then, you don't realize but every second there is someone who dies and it just could be your loved one.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the left over fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pome-grants. For this was the sacred mounth of ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the momment after sunset!
Can you make me a bowl of cereal, oh wait you dad never came back with the milk
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me. But I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheel chair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically ot will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guys says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man 👨 that is a minister and a christain nationalist with👱♂️ blond hair 😬 😳 in suspense wait until 🎄 🎅 🤶 christmas to take away ⛪ his church tax exempt status 📱 ☎️ or he will call 📞 🤔 🤷 🤣 the ACLU
