Utility jokes
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!
I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
So he didn't have to pay the gas bills.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Ratio.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
Best way to do it.
May.
I get more care packages than Africa.