Utility jokes

Why do they call matches, matches?

They all look the same.

Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?

Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!

I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.

Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

Labor party.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

Guys to wind the clock up?

Best way to do it.

What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?

One is used.