Utility jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?

One is used.

Why do they call matches, matches?

They all look the same.

I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.

Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.

Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?

Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Humanity.

Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.