Utility jokes

Why did Hitler kill himself?

So he didn't have to pay the gas bills.

Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.

What's the best part about duck tape?

It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"

It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.

I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.

Why do they call matches, matches?

They all look the same.

What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?

One is used.

Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?

Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!

What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.