Upbringing jokes

One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.

My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

What's a bonus of being an orphan?

You can't get homework.

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

Why can’t the orphan tell on people?

Because they got no mom and dad! LOLLL

I was raised as an only child.

Which really annoyed my twin sister.

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"

An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

How many foster parents does each orphan have?

One half.

We should bully foster parents more for raising parent-less nobodies.

Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples actually get picked.

Why can't orphans complete homework?

Because they have no home!

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.