Uncertainty jokes

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

If we can't see air, can fish see water?