Uncertainty jokes

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

Why are transgender people like confused kids?

Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.