Uncertainty jokes

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

Why are transgender people like confused kids?

Because they both don't know what they want to be in life.

When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?