Uglies jokes

Skeleton

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

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  • Suicide

    A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

    Roast

    Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.

    Memes

    Mirror

    Me: Your ugly...

    Person: I'm not your mirror...

    Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

    Look

    If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?

    Lady

    This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."

    Rape

    What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

    Girl

    My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

    Wish

    There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.

    God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.

    Mama

    Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.

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  • Yo mama

    Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

    Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

    Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

    Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

    Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

    Yo mama

    Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.