Twos jokes
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"
What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?
9/11.
9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.
Memes
Why is America so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?
My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
I'm in school lol.
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
Yo momma is like a penny...
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."