Twos jokes

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.

You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."

Why can't America play chess?

There are missing two towers.

Yo mama so fat, she needs two watches for each timezone.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!

How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.

I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.

They always start with two towers downed.

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

Why can't Americans play chess?

They lost two towers.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?

If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?