Twos jokes

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

Why can't Americans play chess?

They lost two towers.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?

Because they already lost two towers.

I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.

They always start with two towers downed.

How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?

joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

Yo mama so fat, she needs two watches for each timezone.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."

Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"

The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.

If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.