Twos jokes
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Memes
When ur watching the two fat girls fighting over the last donut
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
Two Twin Towers topple to terrorists terrorizing twenty to-be-doomed trip takers.
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.