Twos jokes
When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Memes
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Why can’t two Chinese ppl make a white baby? Bc two wongs don't make a white.
Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?
They fell apart.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?
One held its balance, the other two fell.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."