Twos jokes

What kinda pizza did the Twin Towers order?

Two plains.

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?

Why can't America play chess?

There are missing two towers.

We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!

If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?

Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?

'Cause it was two tired!

What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?

Two large planes.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

What do you call two Chinese lesbians?

Two can't chew.

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

9/11 is like genders.

There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

Why can’t Asian people make a white baby?

Because two wongs don’t make a white.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...