Turned off jokes

How do you get two deaf people from fighting?

Turn off the lights and walk out.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

*Windows turning off*

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He turned off the Wi-Fi.

How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?

She opens the car door.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.