Tree jokes

An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

What is a fun game for an emo kid?

Tug-o-war with a tree.

If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?

Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.

Why do trees always gotta leave me hanging?

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

What is a tree that does not exist?

A money tree.

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

I don't trust trees...they look shady.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"

How to become a monkey?

Put a red dot on your forehead.

Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

Why did the emo kid hate the tree?

It left him hanging.

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?

They would hang themselves like ornaments.

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.