Training jokes
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
What will Sarah Thompson (Ninja Steel Pink) do if she meets the ToQgers (Train Super Sentai)?
They will TRAIN together.
Why is it so hard to tame a dog?
Because it's unTRAINable!
East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?
East Richmond has a train station at East Richmond, but Richmond is better, why?
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
"Most Deadly Sport"
Playing chicken with a train!
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy