I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737 - 800 which can carry around 300 passengers...
It crashed in a cemetery
They recovered 500 bodies
A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
Why are the twin towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
Q: you want to know way I don’t make jokes about 9/11 A: They tend to crash and burn
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff? Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!!
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.