Worst Jokes Ever
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
The inspiration for Chuck Norris to be in Walker, Texas Ranger is by decoding each of the letters in the title.
Walker, Texas Ranger = Wrangler, Karate, Sex!
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
Wordle be like (Part 2):
COMBS 💚🩶🩶🩶💚
CURES 💚💚🩶🩶💚
CULTS 💚💚🩶💚💚
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"