Worst Jokes Ever
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
9/11 jokes aren't funny. They are just plane wrong.
Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."
Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy.
Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.
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