Why does New York have the jets as their football team if those are what took out the twin towers
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong- king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said “ I am Chong king. I said I know your name is Chong king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
I took an hour long shower, the german officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
My wife is so fat. I took her to the Macy's day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon she fell in and got stuck!
Yah hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize when I did it hit me like a plane
I played uno with my mexican friend
That bastard took all the green cards
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang(hangout) but they took it too literal
dentist: open up sir
me:so..i hate my life my family my sisters my dog my cat and i tried to take a bath with my toaster but my dog took it that's why i hate my dog and my cat died trying to chew my rope it choked.....yea
dentist: i.. meant your mouth .. so i can clean your teeth
me: :O ohhhh my bad
dentist : do u need help??
me: yep
dentist:...
me: ....
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim and they had no life jackets. Doo Da suddenly started yelling, " I got one boys! '' as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way to large for him to get onto the boat and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock, but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da. Upon arriving at her house, they did rock paper scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell, again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, " I've been trying to call Doo Da and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, " We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we morn Doo Da today.''
my mum said take out the trash so I took my sister
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?" Her mother smiled and replied: Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy tool the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so hight that we fucked without a condom!
Ur hairline is so big it took ur mom to find it
Jack and Jill wanted some pills So they went to the dealer he saw they were kids and said fuck this shit then jacked rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth pills
My fish died and i didnt do anything i just took my fish for a walk
