Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
They Jokes
What did the other wave say to the other wave?
"Nothing, they just waved!"
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell a brat.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
Why do orphans hate baseball so much?
Because they can't run home.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
