They jokes

Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.

If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?

'Cause they just wash up onshore.

Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?

A. They drive slow through school zones.

Why do orphans love Oreos?

Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!

Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?

Because they were just roman around.

Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,

one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.

So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.