Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Which dinosaurs masturbated the most? Triceratops, they were the horniest!
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.
Orphans can be gay, no problem, because they have no one to disown them.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Why are midgets constantly thirsty?
They can't reach the drinking fountains.
Why can't orphans play cricket?
'Cause they don't know where the home is.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
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