They jokes
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
I smacked an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do duckies wipe after they poop?
Their butt quack.
Bored? Beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?
They kept yelling, "Go home!"
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
If an orphan was an animal, it would be an owl because they don't know "WHOOO" their parents are.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."