Thereness jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
How is the weather down there?
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nonye.
Nonye who?
Nonye buisness.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Akeld." "Akeld who?" "Assfeild!"
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, just maybe you'll find a brain back there!
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."