A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, theres a spider. The blind man simply said. "Step on it".
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning? A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
You know it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise it's just a missing person.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
My ceiling isn't the best... But it's up there!!!!
Girl: I've been a orphan since I was three.
Boy: knock knock.
Girl: ..Who's there?
Boy: not your parents!
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know
Are you enjoying my yolks. I bet there making you crack up. If not, I better scrammble
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Due to the rising cost of ammunition there will be no warning shots
Knock knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said that you would never forget
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris-They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
Dad: "if they jumped off a bridge would you?" Tommy: "yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!"
What’s one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
So there I was fucking my sister and she’s shouts “god you fuck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”
Why Were The Twin Towers Scared At Dinner?
Because There Mom Said "Here Comes The Airplane!"
