There jokes
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer?
There's no stage 5.
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
How is the weather down there?
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, just maybe you'll find a brain back there!
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
There were two twins, and they were both very tall.
The next thing they knew, they were on the floor, and there were planes up their asses.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!