Their jokes

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

Why are most West Virginians going to hell?

Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.

Why do men midgets laugh when they run?

Because their balls get tickled by the grass.

Why do midgets laugh while they run?

The grass tickles their balls.

Okay, boys are known to measure their dicks, but do girls measure their depths?

A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.

What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.

My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.

Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?

Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂

If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Where do Eagles send their children to study?

The Alpha birds.

How do you know that Americans hate exercise?

9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?

What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.

The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.

So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"

The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."

So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."