Their jokes
Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
Memes
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
How do rappers like their coffee?
With a little bit of RAP-PUCCINO.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra rhyme-a-jalapenos.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their ice chains.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always find their way with their flow.
Why did the rapper take up gardening?
Because they wanted to GROW their FLOW.
Why can't England play Clash, Chess, or Checkers?
Because they lost their queen.
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"