The jokes

What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!

Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.

Why did an Indian cross the road?

To take a shit.

What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?

They hit their nose on the wall.

What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women.

Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?

The top of the stairs.

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.

There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.

Why do orphans eat breakfast with water?

The dad did not come home with the milk.

What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?

Suicide squad.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.

My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.

What did the twin tower say to the other?

"I need to catch this plane."

I told her roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you! MF😅🤣😂

Yo mama so fat that the sun is her moon.