The jokes
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."