The jokes
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”