The jokes
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
I did have a good night, and I did a good night, and I had to walk around the house.
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!