The jokes
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.