The jokes

What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?

The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.

What did the adopted poker player say?

"Will you raise me?"

What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?

"Meoooow!"

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.

Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Answer: Dam.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."

LOL

Q: What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

A: One knows where home is.

Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?

The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."