The jokes
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
What is the difference between a comedian and a clown?
A comedian leads Ukraine, and a clown leads America.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Did you know that Uranus is as big as the moon?
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"