The jokes

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

What type of pizza did the twin towers order?

Plain.

What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.

What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

What is the only place fat people live?

Obi-city.

Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!

What did the plane say to the tower?

"Give me a kiss."

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

Come, my children, to the bread cult!

In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."

What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.

How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?

Niagra falls

The Twin Towers remind me of an emote... bing, bang, boom.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.