The jokes
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck π
βI turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.β
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Itβs true women do make less money than men.
But itβs their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, thatβs the wrong number.
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
What's an orphan's favorite band?
Foster the People π
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldnβt stand up?
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.