The jokes

Why was the chef embarrassed?

He saw the salad dressing.

The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."

I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.

Jack and Jill went up the Jill so Jack could lick Jill's fanny, but Jack had a shock with a mouthful of cock because was actually a tranny.

Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!

Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "Yes," and lifted up her dress. Then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?

Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

What game hurts you the more stages you survive?

Cancer.

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.

So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.

In jail, why is the white guy scarier than the black guy? Because the white guy actually did something.

What's the difference between a child and a book?

One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.

A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.

Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.

(Like if you hate feminists.)