The jokes

Michael Jackson

No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.

Cell

I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.

The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"

Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.

Orphan

Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?

Because they don't know who's Homer.

Break up

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

Memes

Depression

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Orphan

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Pirate

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

(People will then say "r")

Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.

Brother

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

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  • Water

    It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"

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  • Mask

    Why did the heterosexual woman try to put a mask 😷 on her pussy? She wanted to protect herself from covid, but she did try to put a mask 😷 on her dildo, but the mask 😷 keep falling off the dildo.

    Pilot

    Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

    He was the best pilot in Arab.

    Nun

    Why do nuns walk in groups?

    So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

    Emo kid

    How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

    To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

    You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

    Sex

    What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?

    The hole experience.

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  • Whore

    What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

    You don't cry when you chop a whore.

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  • White House

    Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."

    Sex

    What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?

    There’s twenty of them.

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