The jokes
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the other contraction they know.
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
Memes
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
Guys to wind the clock up?
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?
He was all right.
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
What's dumb?
The Fetus Deletus joke!
Fucking hate that joke....
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.