The jokes
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
Memes
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
Slow and steady wins the race...
...but it will never fix your ugly face.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Are you the Twin Towers?
Because I want to smash you.
Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
Yo momma so ugly when she the and ugly weird the and she ugly!
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!